Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
