i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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