I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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