she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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