Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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