Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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