sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
