It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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