playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
