just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize