I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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