Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
