some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
