Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
