so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
