If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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