the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize