i think i have two assholes
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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