Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
