if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
