mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
