She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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