I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
