She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
