Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
