Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
