Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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