and i looked up. we had an audience...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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