Your dad touched me again.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
