And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
