Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
