matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
