i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
