I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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