How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
