what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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