I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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