To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
