dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize