my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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