the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
high people should be assigned attendants
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
