Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
