fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
