its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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