We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
