make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
