I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
