This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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