quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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