If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
