yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
