Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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