so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
