Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize