i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
