There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
