Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
