Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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