i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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