Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
