how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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