I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
