You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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