playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
