I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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