u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize