I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
