Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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