My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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