i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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