I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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