You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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