you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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