thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
