Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
