Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
