I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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