And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
